View Full Version : Celica Owners Creed..

10-26-2008, 05:37 AM

1) Thou shall not ask about converting your FWD Celica to AWD or RWD.
2) Thou shall not think about putting a Supra, Skyline, or 7th gen engine into its engine bay.
3) Thou shalt swap in a 3SGTE if you have a 5SFE, and thou shalt drop in a 4AG(Z)E if thou hadst a 4AFE.
(A stroker motor is also acceptable in thy quest for power ;))
4) Thou shalt not put 19-inch rims on thine Celica.
5) Thou shalt not have any luck finding Altezza lights for your Celica.
6) Thou shalt not drift thine Celica, if thou feelest the need to drift, get a 3rd gen.
7) Thou shalt not bear false witness to thine Celica beating cars/scooters/mopeds that are clearly faster.
8) Thou shalt not desecrate the form of the Celica with body kits named for Sith Lords.
9) Thou shalt change thine oil now and again, and thee and thine will be blessed with 200k+ miles.
10) Thou shalt not purchase chips/turbos/tornados that retail on ebay for under $15.
11) Thou shall not short shift, double-clutch, nor overrev whilst racing thine celica. (Thou SHALL trail-brake , heel-toe, and rev-match)
12) Thou shall not consider taking thine car to Maaco, nor consider external/interior paint schemes involving puke purple, diarheal orange, influencial yellow, nor any other colors of questionable taste.
13) Thou shalt not overwhelm any Celica with stickers, unless actually sponsored, in hopes of power gains/pussy.
14) Thou shall not pretend to shift in a Celica w/ an automatic transmission.
15) Thou shalt be limited to one tachometer in thine Celica, not to exceed 5 inches in diameter.
16) Thou shall not mount any spoiler or wing which resembles a shopping cart/parkbench/surfboard/modern art exhibit.
17) Thou shalt not seek straight-line acceleration, worship the twisties.
18) Thou shall keep thine chariot free from vinyl blasphemy, unless thou art seeking red and green CASTROL decals on thine white All-Trac.
(Site stickers are an exception as are Badges of Honor from Teh Slaying of Dragonz)
19) Thou shall not drink and drive thy Celica, as when thou wreckest a Celica, thou wreckest something beautiful.
20) Thou shalt keep thy exterior shiny and waxed, thine interior free of garbage, and thine engine bay well-maintained.
21) Thou will not install any muffler setup with a diameter capable of carnally satisfying an elephant.
22) Thou shalt not place a cone filter inside thine hot engine bay and claim it to be a cold air intake
23) Thou shall NOT strike down with great vengeance, and furious anger, any Honda at every encounter. (It makest thee a "Ricer")
24) Thou shall seek knowledge through the use of the search function and the FAQs
25) Thou shalt not damage thy Celica by use of improper jacking procedure.
26) Thou art required to perform the Sacred Rituals of Regular Maintenance upon thine chosen chariot.
27) Thou shall respect fellow Celica owners and their trim/generation/engine/drivetrain.