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View Full Version : Cars can suck my nuts.



MoralWarfare
10-21-2005, 03:03 AM
Sometimes they suck. All I wanted to do was a starter on my uncle's 96 jetta. Fucking easy shit, you take out the 2 bolts, pull out starter, put new in. But noooo, the start bolts are part of the front engine mount, so when you take em out the mount moves. Took me like 2 hours to try to fit the bolts back in and they still didn't go. If I wasn't using a fucking jack and had a proper lift and prybar it would take 20 minutes total. I hate cars sometimes.

cosmic_sombrero
10-21-2005, 03:05 AM
grunting and cursing helps.

... but then, you knew that.

MoralWarfare
10-21-2005, 03:08 AM
very well, indeed.

cosmic_sombrero
10-21-2005, 03:12 AM
I was pulling the right driveshaft out of my GT-S at creech_r's house... it was a BITCH. I was laying there under the car trying to work the bearing bracket bolts loose, my legs sticking out from under the car at weird angles and contorting as I was trying to find leverage, and I was cussing up a storm.

So his sister came out to watch me. Apparently it was entertaining.

About 10 minutes later I poked my grimy face out from under the car and asked her "Is this turning you on?"

She just grinned. I'm still not sure what this meant.

MoralWarfare
10-21-2005, 03:13 AM
next time reach out and sexily run your fingers down her mid-section. See what happens.

cosmic_sombrero
10-21-2005, 03:16 AM
I've tried that too. Different girl, and she wasn't too happy about the oil stains on the top she was wearing.

MoralWarfare
10-21-2005, 05:28 AM
here's how happy I am after car projects don't go well. Note the nice hat.

http://img471.imageshack.us/img471/6104/joemanfun2rk.jpg

cosmic_sombrero
10-21-2005, 05:52 AM
I think I usually look like that. I must look REALLY happy after a project doesn't go well.



Nice couch, btw.

MoralWarfare
10-21-2005, 05:54 AM
thanks, es comfy. I have the ability of scaring people with my big eyebrows when I'm mad. That and the italian nostrils, it's like sensory overload. SO MUCH UGLY, SO MUCH UGLY, RUN AWAY!!

cosmic_sombrero
10-21-2005, 05:55 AM
I'd probably sit on it, sink, and never be found again.

MoralWarfare
10-21-2005, 05:59 AM
this chair is the comfy chair:
http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/2083/woahchair3db.jpg

cosmic_sombrero
10-21-2005, 06:03 AM
I think my driver's seat is actually the most comfortable seat I own. Sitting in it is like being hugged by my car.


I hug her back all the time, to tell the truth.



Oh wait. We were talking about how cars suck.

MoralWarfare
10-21-2005, 06:04 AM
Fuck Yo Shit Cracka!

cosmic_sombrero
10-21-2005, 06:11 AM
Do you feel rejected by your car? Is she not accepting you for who you are?

Maybe its the whole German with an Italian thing... it just never works out.

david in germany
10-21-2005, 06:54 AM
Lol good thread. I had tranny problems with my 83 celica and could not for the life of me get the damn tranny to line up with the clutch (front of the engine jacked up pressure plate and berring all good) I was trying to stay calm working on that thing for like 40 minutes.... I got pissed and yelled at the damn thing "Get your fucking ass in there" (loud enough to statle the neighbors) and that shit slid right in.... :woot:
Cussing does work sometimes!

Azzazzyn
10-21-2005, 06:58 AM
moral, that look you have is classic, i think i had that same look when i bought this cheap dresser from walmart and the directions were only in spanish and i was missing the drawer wheels, that pos gave me fucking gray hair or something, and it fell apart in a month, so i threw one of the drawers and it put a huge dent in the wall.

MoralWarfare
10-21-2005, 11:07 AM
:laugh: nice azz. that'll teach you though, never trust the mexicans.

david in germany
10-21-2005, 11:37 AM
Azz yelled "la migra" and his dresser hauled ass! :hehe:

Murgatroy
10-21-2005, 11:50 AM
Hehe. Transmissions suck. I have a dozen clutch alignment tools here at the house to make the job easier. And it still sucks.

Hey Moral, if your smart ass had jacked the engine up to begin with you wouldn't have had that problem, at what point did you realize that the start bolts were for the motor mount too? :hehe: That was mean. :D

I have pulled the transmission out of my Mustang a dozen times to try and fix it, knowing all along that it was the tranny itself but refusing to accept that. It is the only part that hasn't been replaced, and technically it has, since it was an auto to begin with. I hate that bastard, and since I have a cripple hip from a particularlly nasty car wreck 5 years ago this month, I can't crawl under and postion it solo anymore, so I have to have help (Dave...hint, hint.)

I remember the first time I ever did a tranny solo. It was in a Mk3 Supra. I sliced my thumb to the bone trying to spin it off the tail to line the splines, was killing myself letting it rest on my chest while I smoked, and basically hating it. That bastard was heavy. After 2 hours of cussing, grunting and screaming I got it to slide in close enough to crank that SOB down with the bolts. My one thought was, 'It can only go in one way, so as long as the bolts crank it down, it must be right.' Those are words to live by. ;) The bastard worked, and could fucking fly. :D

All in all it was a good time. It always is, no matter the blood, sweat and tears. When you can stand back and look at something that you just accomplished and say, 'I did that.' It is an awesome feeling. Even if it took a year to do... I wonder if I just pull it again, and flush it real good and fill it with some heavy dope if it will stop that grinding whine and catch second...

david in germany
10-21-2005, 12:38 PM
Hehe. Transmissions suck. I have a dozen clutch alignment tools here at the house to make the job easier. And it still sucks.

I have pulled the transmission out of my Mustang a dozen times to try and fix it, knowing all along that it was the tranny itself but refusing to accept that. It is the only part that hasn't been replaced, and technically it has, since it was an auto to begin with. I hate that bastard, and since I have a cripple hip from a particularlly nasty car wreck 5 years ago this month, I can't crawl under and postion it solo anymore, so I have to have help (Dave...hint, hint.)

I remember the first time I ever did a tranny solo. It was in a Mk3 Supra. I sliced my thumb to the bone trying to spin it off the tail to line the splines, was killing myself letting it rest on my chest while I smoked, and basically hating it. That bastard was heavy. After 2 hours of cussing, grunting and screaming I got it to slide in close enough to crank that SOB down with the bolts. My one thought was, 'It can only go in one way, so as long as the bolts crank it down, it must be right.' Those are words to live by. ;) The bastard worked, and could fucking fly. :D


I can relate, cut open finger (to the bone trying to separate the bell housing from the tranny and the bolt finally broke loose and my finger hit the edge of the bell housing... (my bone did look pretty cool) a stitch later from the hospital ... Installing the tranny back into the car I got everything back together only to find that the engine was not engaging with the tranny....
pulled it again and found out the shaft would not fit into the pilot bearing.... about 3 hours of sanding, (greasy bandages) got it all back together, tried to start it and the battery was dead.... Got in a hurry, tried to jump it.... hooked up the bat cables backwards...... from that day on the lights never retracted again.. but the car drove perfect!

alltracman78
10-21-2005, 05:37 PM
Sometimes they suck. All I wanted to do was a starter on my uncle's 96 jetta. Fucking easy shit, you take out the 2 bolts, pull out starter, put new in. But noooo, the start bolts are part of the front engine mount, so when you take em out the mount moves. Took me like 2 hours to try to fit the bolts back in and they still didn't go. If I wasn't using a fucking jack and had a proper lift and prybar it would take 20 minutes total. I hate cars sometimes.

That is what you get for working on a frigging VOLKSWAGON!

And yeah, MR2s suck to work on also.

caneman
10-21-2005, 06:38 PM
... since I have a cripple hip from a particularlly nasty car wreck 5 years ago this month, I can't crawl under and postion it solo anymore, so I have to have help ...
Sorry to hear about your disability. I've got 3 fused vertebra in my neck and a partial spinal cord injury that causes constant full-body pain and a movement disorder, so I know a little about this sort of thing.

About needing help, before I was disabled and needed help with my car, I always called on my wife. I had to rebuild my '70 VW bus engine 3 times before it took (I learned to set the valves LOOSE, to .006", and ignore the factory recommendation). On the bus, in order to re-install the engine, you rolled it in from behind the car, with the rear bumper and body panel removed. The tricky part was mating up the engine with the tranni. Whenever I got to that stage, my wife would lie under the car while I rolled the engine back toward the tranni while balancing it on a floor jack. She would grab the engine and guide it into the tranni until the drive shaft mated with the clutch. It was a dangerous, dirty job, but she did it. No wonder we're still married!

As for hating a car, she took the cake. After spending 3 weeks rebuilding the engine once in a freezing garage after working all day, I had just reassembled and installed the engine. It started right up and ran beautifully, but 10 minutes after it warmed up it began to drip oil. I shut it down and went over the engine with a drop lamp and found the worst possible problem. There was a micro-crack in the magnesium alloy engine case that, when the engine reached operating temperature, would begin to leak. The only way to fix it was to pull the engine again, tear it down to the last nut and bolt, and get the case alloy-welded somewhere.

I had just reached this decision when my lovely wife stepped out into the garage and asked sweetly, "How are things going?" When I told her what happened and that I needed to rip it all down again, she went temporarily insane. She ran to our Buick, fired it up, and tried to ram the VW bus. I had to jump between the two vehicles to keep from having two junk cars. In retrospect, I probably should have just said, "Oh, everything's fine, honey," and lived with the oil drip.

MoralWarfare
10-22-2005, 02:55 AM
Hey Moral, if your smart ass had jacked the engine up to begin with you wouldn't have had that problem, at what point did you realize that the start bolts were for the motor mount too? :hehe: That was mean. :D

eat my balls, i know i should have :(

shue
10-22-2005, 04:47 AM
next time reach out and sexily run your fingers down her mid-section. See what happens.
:stupid:

Luni
10-22-2005, 05:17 AM
You know guys, just had to pipe in here. Specially you Moral.

This thread ISNT OFF TOPIC. ITS ABOUT CARS.

Post it in General next time. Im moving this shit.

Dave, if the thread has anything about cars and the thread goes the route of cars, put it in general if you cant find another place for it. I dont want car threads in OT. OT is for everything else BUT cars.

Carry on.

Yes cars suck my nuts. Moral you dont look dirty enough for having worked on a car.

david in germany
10-22-2005, 10:14 AM
You know guys, just had to pipe in here. Specially you Moral.

This thread ISNT OFF TOPIC. ITS ABOUT CARS.

Post it in General next time. Im moving this shit.

Dave, if the thread has anything about cars and the thread goes the route of cars, put it in general if you cant find another place for it. I dont want car threads in OT. OT is for everything else BUT cars.

Carry on.

Yes cars suck my nuts. Moral you dont look dirty enough for having worked on a car.
Roger!

Murgatroy
10-22-2005, 11:28 AM
You know guys, just had to pipe in here. Specially you Moral.

This thread ISNT OFF TOPIC. ITS ABOUT CARS.

Post it in General next time. Im moving this shit.

Dave, if the thread has anything about cars and the thread goes the route of cars, put it in general if you cant find another place for it. I dont want car threads in OT. OT is for everything else BUT cars.

Carry on.

Yes cars suck my nuts. Moral you dont look dirty enough for having worked on a car.
Hiel Luni!

MoralWarfare
10-22-2005, 06:09 PM
Luni! I posted a picture of my frickin chair! MY CHAIR! And I sowre about nothing, it's SOOOOO offt topic ;).

Jeremy, you have to love volkswagens to work on them. They don't like me, but I like them.

Murgatroy
10-23-2005, 11:43 AM
I have had about 4 VDubs. A pair of `72 SBs, a `79 SB with, get this, both a dash, AND A/C and a `65ish small window. Those cars were a labor of love, and there is nothing like doing an engine swap where you use the cherry picker to lift the car...

Luni
10-23-2005, 07:53 PM
Use the cherry picker to lift the car on an MR2 swap as well Murg hehe.